"At work, I know how to solve problems, negotiate, and take the lead. But when I’m with my partner, it’s like my brain just stops working."

At 25, we may think that breakups will hurt less as we get older. That we will have more experience, know ourselves better, and understand more quickly that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world. But research shows something far more interesting: age itself does not mean that a breakup will hurt less.

That is why we often enter a new relationship more cautiously, with greater consideration and perhaps a little more restraint. When choosing a partner, we are no longer guided by the same criteria as when we were younger, when it was enough for someone to seem attractive, popular, or simply “cool.” As we get older, we begin to look for something deeper: closeness, understanding, security, and the feeling that we can truly be ourselves with someone.

Then comes the breakup. Because we cannot find a way forward together. Because we no longer feel understood. Because the relationship is no longer as safe, gentle, or loving as we would like it to be. And that is when the question arises: Why does it still hurt so much when I have so much more experience and was more careful this time?

Tomorrow I’ll really start. Monday, a new month, perhaps even your birthday – the perfect turning point. Or maybe it was New Year’s, bringing with it the promise of big changes. We can easily recognize ourselves in these promises we make to ourselves. But how do we move from that “almost starting” to actually taking action?

Maybe the problem isn’t that you don’t know how to start. Maybe you’ve simply learned to keep postponing the beginning until the day when everything will be easier.

We all know the moment when we want to scream, but instead we stay silent, clench our teeth, and pretend everything is fine. While emotional control is important, constantly suppressing anger can come at a cost. Unprocessed emotions do not simply disappear, they can affect our thoughts, relationships, behaviour, and even our body’s stress response.
Anger is not something to eliminate. It is a natural emotion and a valuable signal. The key is learning how to understand, regulate, and express it in a healthy way.

Do you often feel unexplained tension, anger, or even resentment when visiting or speaking to your mother, without really understanding where these feelings come from?

Do you know that uncomfortable feeling when you have just said "yes" to something you did not actually want at all? When you took on a task that was not yours, stayed at a party that was draining you, or kept your opinion to yourself just so you would not upset anyone? You are not alone.

Sometimes, we feel that taking care of ourselves requires plenty of time, a perfect schedule, a peaceful home, unwavering motivation, and a life where everything goes according to plan. But if we're honest, most days aren't like that.