At 25, we may think that breakups will hurt less as we get older. That we will have more experience, know ourselves better, and understand more quickly that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world. But research shows something far more interesting: age itself does not mean that a breakup will hurt less.

That is why we often enter a new relationship more cautiously, with greater consideration and perhaps a little more restraint. When choosing a partner, we are no longer guided by the same criteria as when we were younger, when it was enough for someone to seem attractive, popular, or simply “cool.” As we get older, we begin to look for something deeper: closeness, understanding, security, and the feeling that we can truly be ourselves with someone.

Then comes the breakup. Because we cannot find a way forward together. Because we no longer feel understood. Because the relationship is no longer as safe, gentle, or loving as we would like it to be. And that is when the question arises: Why does it still hurt so much when I have so much more experience and was more careful this time?

Do you know that uncomfortable feeling when you have just said "yes" to something you did not actually want at all? When you took on a task that was not yours, stayed at a party that was draining you, or kept your opinion to yourself just so you would not upset anyone? You are not alone.